Monday, March 10, 2008
Growing Up Without A Father
This website I found today has numerous stats from various studies that explain the negative impact growing up without a father has. So the question presents itself- is this a problem? If so, how big of a problem and then what do we do about it? Many ideas have been thrown around the office today.
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16 comments:
Some would say we shoud accept the fact that kids are gonna grow up without fathers and turn their attention to educating those mothers raising kids on their own.
I wanna say educate these people before they have kids on the negative effects of single parent homes. But then I hear from those on the left that this is trying to revert back to the 1950's. And I am imposing my morals onto them. Which I can agree to some extent about imposing my beliefs onto them.
But can't it just be showing the negative consequences instead of telling people how to live their lives?
The next comments will be from my emails I got on this today.
From Nuclear Ambition:
I agree that this is a problem, not sure where on a
scale of 1 to 10, but a problem nonetheless.
I would say you could maybe make it harder to get a
divorce. Mandate that couples trying to get a divorce
go through couples therapy first. But that doesn't
fix a problem of people having kids out of wedlock.
For women who are having babies without a supportive
father (or no father present) you could maybe mandate
that they go through some sort of counseling on how to
be a good parent (most hospitals offer this service
for a minimal charge, Jessi and I went through this
when we had Eve).
I think also that you should maybe have a
comprehensive sex ed class that highlights how
difficult it is being a single parent. This hopefully
would prevent some pregnancies from happening in the
first place. I'm not sure that this is so much
imposing your morals on someone else as it is teaching
them the realities of the situation. You can do it in
a way that isn't saying "you're bad if you're a single
parent". You can do it like "if you're a single
parent, here are some of the things that you'll be
going through and here are some ways to create a
loving family".
From Iowa Boy
I would have a lot to say on this topic with much of
it revolving around a society that has become akin to
a nanny-state with government becoming more of an
influence in “ostensibly” relieving societal problems.
Simply put, I think govt has a role in helping by
doing as little as possible to intervene on behalf of
“society”, limiting its efforts to those few that are
most in need with incentives to change. The natural
consequences of age old societal norms are
mitigated/enhanced by the “help” of legislation.
With that said…I do believe government can have a role
beyond restraint. There are wonderful not-for-profit
organizations that can be enhanced by local or state
tax breaks or subsidies (good oversight needed). Also,
mechanisms such as child tax credits and no additional
tax loss for married couples.
Outside the government solutions, I guess one could
always join or start an organization. But at some
point we have to come to the conclusion that the more
we as a society accept some behavior the less likely
it is reverse it’s self. It might be harsh not to
adore the teenage mother’s babies they bring into the
office, but what message does it send? There is a
reason the term “bastard” was used a generation ago.
As cruel as it sounds, public admonishment of certain
behavior was a net benefit in keeping countless others
from making the same mistake. I understand this isn’t
“THE ANSWER”, but it is something that nobody is
willing to talk about. We need to get past this PC
craze of relativism and stop relying on government to
take care of us.
Yes, I'm sure that shaming teenagers will stop them from having sex. That always works.
On the other hand, sex education DOES work, especially combined with easily (and confidentially) available birth control. It's really easy to not get pregnant, the only thing standing in your way is societal shaming and ignorance.
Also it would have been nice if they broke the study down into unwed teenage mothers vs successful divorced women. Most of the problems they list are also highly correlated with poverty, and there's probably a correlation between negative lifestyle choices and accidental pregnancies, so without breaking the numbers down it's a bit early to talk about dads being important.
Who wants to shame the students into not having sex? By the way do we not allready have sexual education in our high schools? That must not be enough because too many people are having babies.
But I am not sure if I really care that people are having babies in high school. I just want the babies mother and father to be there for the child when it grows up. I am sick of absentee fathers. I am sick of women having sex with these no good guys. If your gonna have sex then they should be using contraception. But it aint hard to find a condom. It is not like these people say "only if they were giving out free condoms everywhere then I would wrap it up." Both parties involved know the consequences of not having protection but they go ahead and have sex anyway.
You're seriously overestimating the competence and knowledge level of the average highschooler. Many schools do not have sex ed, many teach abstinence only, and many do not teach about contraception. Condoms are not very easy to get if you're a kid without your own transportation and too scared to buy them at a store. Many kids (several I knew personally) think you can get pregnant from a blowjob, think that you can't get pregnant if you pull out, and think that the rythm method is highly effective.
Listen, the studies have been done and they're really clear: teen pregnancies go down when you have comprehensive sex-ed classes, go down further if those classes involve frank and honest discussion of birth-control methods, and go down again if you make condoms available easily and anonymously to teens. In many (perhaps most) schools, these things are not all true.
life without a father is like hell to me, hmmmmmmmmmmm i will tell u why
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